“I’ve done nothing wrong”, he thought to himself. “Technically, I didn’t kill him.”
David paced up and down in his room, repeating these words to himself.
Deep down in his heart, he knew something wasn’t right. Most people could read the situation and point out what it was – it was obvious.
He had just slept with another man’s wife – and not just any man. It was one of his own soldiers.
And now she was pregnant.
Out of fear, he had commanded the commander of his army, Joab, to order this soldier, Uriah, to fight on the front lines in the battle that was going on.
David had hoped that Uriah would be killed and he wouldn’t have to live in shame.
Hope is a powerful word for a dark desire such as this.
It happened just as David had wished.
Uriah was now dead.
Joab’s messenger had now returned to David, telling him the news – telling him how they had attacked the enemy recklessly, and many of his soldiers had fallen in battle, including Uriah.
“Well, tell Joab not to be discouraged,” David had responded. “The sword devours this one today and that one tomorrow!” – 2 Samuel 11:25
The words were sweet. They were encouraging. But the motive behind them wasn’t.
But somehow David had become blind to it.
He sent the messenger away and continued walking up and down the room.
It’s sad that Uriah died. But I guess that happens in a war.
Deep down in his heart, he still knew something wasn’t right, but that feeling had begun to fade away.
I shouldn’t feel guilty. He was a soldier. He died doing his duty.
I didn’t kill him. I’m not the one who plunged a sword into his heart.
I am not the one who committed murder.
I only gave orders for him to do his duty.
Technically, I didn’t do anything wrong.
And with that excuse, David was forgiven. He was in the right. He had, in fact, not directly violated any of God’s commands.
He was off the hook, because of this loophole…or so he thought.
He had been called a ‘man after God’s own heart’.
And that was true. He had been a man after God’s heart.
But in this moment, he had forgotten one important truth.
To God, faith was more than just following commands and obeying the law. It was about what David desired; it was about his motives that led to his actions.
David, a man who wanted to see God’s heart, had somehow forgotten – that God could already see his.