Lately, I’ve been searching for miracles.
You know – signs and wonders. Mighty acts of God and powerful moves of the Holy Spirit – healings, life-changing prophetic words, and breakthroughs.
I’ve been watching a couple of videos of how God has been powerfully moving in different countries. I’ve been hearing stories of people being healed from last-stage cancer, of physical scars disappearing, of ungodly marks vanishing, of drug addicts immediately recovering, without going through withdrawal.
I’ve watched videos that cover physically verifiable events, and I have so severely longed to witness at least one of them around me.
That’s been my prayer for the past few days – to witness the powerful, and to get a glimpse of God’s power at work.
Don’t get me wrong – I fully believe His power is at work in our everyday lives. I fully believe that people like me, slowly being sanctified, is nothing short of a miracle, and I definitely do see new mercies morning by morning.
But to see a physical manifestation of His power – wouldn’t that be something?
I want to see power at work just to witness power at work.
But I came across this video recently where Jackie Pullinger was being interviewed. Jackie Pullinger is a missionary in China and she has seen the lives of thousands of drug addicts be set free. She has been God’s vessel in saving countless lives.
During the interview, she said something that struck me – something that was in her that was lacking in me.
She said she would have these drug addicts come to her youth center, and she would pray for healing and deliverance – for a miracle – but unlike me, it wasn’t to ‘witness power at work’, but to genuinely see the Kingdom of God set a life free.
You see, Jackie Pullinger’s motivation was the only one that mattered – love.
She didn’t want God to show off His powers. She wanted God to show His love. And she felt that love for the people she was praying for.
I can seek miracles as much as I want, but the Bible says we are to pursue love first, and only then desire the spiritual gifts.
Does God work miraculously without the motivation of love? Sure He does.
He uses many unworthy people who misuse His gifts and bring shame upon His name.
In the words of the author Gene Edwards, “Many pray for the power of God. More every year. Those prayers sound powerful, sincere, godly and without ulterior motive. Hidden under such prayer and fervor, however, are ambition, a craving for fame, the desire to be considered a spiritual giant. The person who prays such a prayer may not even know it, but dark motives and desires are in his heart…in your heart.”
Perhaps in that case, God not showing me a physical sign, when my first pursuit is not love, is simply an act of mercy – to protect me from myself.
But I believe I got my answer today.
Today, while praying, I once again told God, “I want to see a physical display of Your power. I want to see Your Kingdom come.
And okay fine, I’ll try and change my motives to match Jackie Pullinger’s. I want to see Your power at work to see people set free. I want to see the power of Your Kingdom come upon the lives of people”
And I felt God answer back, “Okay. On whom?”
Honestly, I had no answer. I wanted to see a mighty physical healing, and yet, I couldn’t think of one person with a physical ailment, who I would be willing to risk looking like a fool and go and pray for.
I couldn’t think of one person, who I could pray a breakthrough for, with the genuine motive of love.
The truth is that I hadn’t been going out to meet the people who needed healing, who needed breakthroughs, who needed a miracle.
Maybe that’s the big issue. We don’t see mighty acts of God because most of us live lives that don’t ‘require’ it.
We don’t step out in faith and risk it.
We don’t go out to spread the Good News about His Kingdom.
Love doesn’t stay in one place. Love reaches out.
Maybe that’s where we start.